Nico's Bizarre Adventure, Part 1

“-and until next time guys, Stay classy” Nico said into the microphone. God he loved this. everytime he got a video done it sent a thrilling sensation through him.This was the life for him. Making videos, playing games, getting bitches (okay, maybe that part wasn’t as prominent but it was certainly there.) yep, this was all great. Nico go up off of his chair and turned to his room. All in all it was a pretty nice room, pristine. A nice big bed sat in the middle, one Nico always loved to sleep on after posting a video late into the night.
Nico then walked over to the silver statue of a penguin that his family had gotten for him. He smiled at it, it brought back fond memories. He then reached behind the statue and pulled out a navy blue cape and a sailor hat. he put them masterfully, looking like a total badass while doing it. During all of this there was a loud noise that to most people would have been deafening, however to Nico, it was now more of a background music.
Nico opened the doors to find thousands of penguins of varying sizes cheering for him...well, mostly cheering for him.
“WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO PLAY PERSONA 4 DANCING ALL NIGHT!”
“READ DANGAN RONPA ZERO!!”
“I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SOLD THE ORICHALCUM!! GOD DAMNIT!!!”
but other than that, happy, happy cheers. Nico walked down into the crowd of adoring penguins and threw his hands up in the air happily “There is a new video up my Picky Penguins” almost mechanically the penguins pulled out a phone/laptop/3ds and began watching Nicos video.
Nico breathed in the salty air and went over to the rail. It was another fine day on the SSLP, sailing across the seas of the internet. Nico knew when he made this ship that it would pay off. Most other youtubers settled on the land, huge lands Like Pewdipies kingdom, Markipliars land, or JackSepticEyes Ireland. But Nico preferred the freedom that the sea gave, it was exhilarating. Plus the Picky Penguins liked salty food so it was good.
“Hey Nico, we got some visitors!” Shouted Teddie. Nico turned around to see the funny little bear. Honestly Nico already knew he was there because of the little funny noise that Teddies feet made whenever he walked. It was kind of unusual to see him away from his friends from Persona 4. Usually each franchise that Nico picked up kept to themselves and rarley left each others side.
“what is it Teddy?”
“we uh….we caught something when we went fishing”
“okay, just don’t give it to Mr. Kitty, He’s fat as fuck as it is” Nico stopped and pondered if he could somehow convince Sissel to keep Mr. Kitty in line...cats respected other cats right?
Teddy flung his arms up and down wildly, he was clearly panicking “NO, its not a fish, its a guy”
“A guy?”
“and not just any guy, its-”
“OOOOOOOOHHHH, I’m back bitches!!” Nico immediately knew the voice, but he didn’t know who it belonged to. he had given too many people this voice.
“OOOH, wag my little little finger at you penguin!”
“Oh its Edgeworth...wait...Edgeworth!!” Nico shouted in shock. Not every character stayed on the SSLP. Some of them left for a while, or they were banished,  But Nico didn’t like to talk about those ones.
Nico walked up Edgeworth and noticed in just what a bad shape he was in. He had lost his red jacket, leaving him in just his neckscarf and wet shirt. His big hands covered his wet hair, as if he were trying to make sure it stayed in place. however, none of this was as shocking as blood that was trickling out of his side
“christ you would have thinked I noticed that first” Nico said as he examined the wound
“Oh, don’t be such a baby about it. It takes a lot more to kill me, now, before we get to business, where is-”
“EDGEWORTH!!!” came the manly voice of Phoenix Wright as he came charging down the deck of the ship. He pushed away all the penguins to reach his Edgeworth
“Wright, come here you stupid idiot” Edgeworth pulled away from the worried friends and fans, going straight to Wright. They quickly locked lips, going at it like ducks (fun fact! ducks are the horniest animal on the planet!).
“OH GOD THE YAOI!!!” Maya fey screamed from somewhere. It also sounded like she was taking pictures.
Wright pulled away for a second, panting “Edgeworth(my nemisis) what happened?!”
“I’ll explain that in a second, but todays saturday, and you know what that means?”
Phoenix blushed and looked down “role pla-”
“Role Playing! So you better still have the Neo Pink Samurai costume, because I certainly still have my steel samurai costume!” Edgeworth leaned forward and whispered into Wrights ear “this episode the Neo Pink Samurai learns how to handle the Steel Samurais Spear” Edgworth then looked at a little Kiosk on the ship, being run by a little penguin and TeruTeru. Any man who’s been on the ship knew what it was.
“You there, three of your mans nuts” Edgeworth shouted. one of the Penguins quickly wrapped and delivered the mans nuts to the couple. Teruteru however looked longingly at Edgeworth and Wright. “lucky bastards.”
Nico went up to the couples and poked Edgeworths shoulders. “as...fun as this is, can you tell me, you know, what the fuck happened?!”
Edgeworth looked at Nico for a second and then sighed “oh god, thats right. so, to start things off, does anyone remember that I used to be a douchebag?”
“yes”
“yeah”
“oh yeah”
“to be honest you're still kinda one now”
“why do you have a car thats inside is made out of nothing but leather?”
Edgeworth looked at all of the penguins and character menacingly  “oh yeah, don’t be nice to the guy who just got fished out of the sea, bleeding out from his chest. Go on, throw some tomatoes at me while you're at it, I’m sure I deserve it.” Nico steadied the hand of one of the penguins, who was about to throw a tomato.
“Edgeworth, the explanation please.”
“oh fine, so yes, I used to be a douchebag. this let me be a part of a very dangerous organization-
“IS IT ORGANIZATION 13”
“HOW BOUT THE AKATSUKI?”
“TEAM FOUR STAR?”
“oh will shut up and let me finish talking!!” Edgeworth shouted at the penguins. surprisingly they shut up. “anyways, the organization does not have a name. they are just made up of powerful enemies to you Nico. so powerful that they plan to blow up the SSLP, and kill everyone on it”
“NO! I can’t let that happen” Nico shouted out dramatically
“no shit sherlock, so I tried to call you and tell you about it. but they found out and tried to kill me. they put a bullet through my chest and threw me in the ocean”
“dear lord...thats horrible” Nico said. the Picky Penguins were murmuring among themselves, they were scared. Nico could tell “I...I have to do something!” Nico said firmly, to comfort his penguins
“yeah, good luck...oh yeah, nearly forgot one small detail.” Edgeworth said. it was apparent that he was growing weak from bloodloss. “they took Pearl and Nanako hostage...so yeah, that a thing”
Everyone on the ship was quiet. they didn’t know what to say to that.
“well...at least they don’t have Cleme-”
“Oh yeah, and they have hitmen tracking down Clementine...whoopsie doodle, almost forgot about that too.”
“FUCK!!” Nico screamed into the air. he was done listening, now was the time to act! Nico made the ship go towards land, knowing his enemies were there. There were only 2 people shitty enough to do this.
Nico turned around and faced his followers. “I will be back! Rest assured, I will not let this ship go down!” Nico said heroically, though on the inside he was freaking the fuck out. “on my journey I will find friends that will help me, but for now, you must all stay here. Will my Security Chief please come forward”
a small penguin walked forward, and everyone knew who it was. Rookie of the Year, Blueflare stood in front of Nico, eyes oogling him. “Yes sir!”
“I need you to prepare for war if I’m not fast enough. I know you haven’t been here long, but these people need someone firm. someone stubborn” Nico looked down at a skull pin, a symbol of ‘The World Ends With You; “and lord knows your stubborn, can you do it?”
“yes sir!” Blueflare saluted Nico proudly
“good, now I’m off” Nico jumped off the rails and onto the sandy beach. He regretted it immediately, it hurt like hell and he just wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn’t ruin the moment. and so, on his pained legs, Nico was off!”

MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOUCHEBAGS SECRET HEADQUARTERS/TOGAMI CORP

Togami sat on his throne/office chair. everything was going according to plan. Sure he had to kill edgeworth, but that was fine. Edgeworth was beginning to go through a change of heart, and that just couldn’t happen.
“hehe, so how much longer until we launch plan:fuck everything” came the prissy voice of Joshua, Togami’s unfortunate companion.
“yes, but what worries me is when are we going to find Clementine. I feel like we need more hostages...no, I just want more hostages, but that means even more reason to get them.”
“Oh don’t worry Debra-”
“don’t call me Debra”
“I’m calling you Debra” Joshua said with a shit eating grin “our little hitman should be here soon enough.” Just as he said that the door opened. A black man was thrown in, it was unmistakably Lee Everett, however he had seen better days (forget about the whole turning into a Zombie thing). He was coughing up blood, three of his fingers were broken, and it looked like one of his ears was bitten off.
“wow, buddy, I fucked you UP” came one of the most annoying voices to ever grace this planet. Komeada walked in, decked in stranged clothing. He had a cowboy hat on, along with a long jacket that had blood stained on it. His pants had tears in it. it looked like it was caused by people trying to claw him. the weirdest accessory however, was a necklace made entirely out of bagels that hung around his neck.  
“ooohhh...god...what the hell is happening.” Lee looked up to see the snot nosed brat Joshua smiling at him.
“wow, he really did fuck you up, huh big guy?”
Lee looked back at Komeada and snarled “the hell is up with this guy, every time I pointed a gun at him, it jammed!”
“oh don’t worry about him, what you have to worry about is Clementine, where is she Suzan?”
Lee looked at him “My name is L-” Komeada stomped on Lee’s knee, putting enough force behind it to break it. Lee shouted out in pain
“your names Suzan. thanks Komeada’
“no problem, its what I do”
“now, where’s Clementine?” Joshua said, his voice not changing tone at all.
“I...I don’t know where she is. last thing I remember is turning into a walker...why am I alive?” Lee looked up, broken
“oh we can fix that” Komeada said happily “I stubbed my toe on the way in here”
Togami sighed “oh god damnit, I just got the roof fixed from last time”
“wh-” Lee didn’t get a chance to finish his question. something burst through the roof and his Lee right in the head, causing it to explode, sending blood everywhere. upon further examination, it was clear that a meteorite had come down from space, through the Togami corporations roof, and right onto Lees head.
“ultimate bullshit, ya can’t beat it!” Komeada said as giggled with childlike glee. He then turned around, thinking he was continue hunting down Clementine alone.
“stop” Togami said, stepping over the corpse of Lee, making sure not to get any blood on his shoes. “we have noticed that you haven’t gotten us Clementine yet.”
“Oh, skinny Togami, don’t worry about it, with my Ultimate Bullshit powers, I’ll proabably just run into her, right?” Komeada said lackadaisyly
“but heres the thing, I want results, and I have the money to get results” Togami said, another door opening, revealing a figure that no one expected to see.
it was a tall man, with a great build. that was the only normal thing about him however. he had no hair, no face, and his body color was a mix of white/silver, red and blue. Along with him he brought a catchy theme song that made people bob their head and snap their fingers.
“With your bullshit and his speed, I hope there will be better results. Meet your new partner Komeada, Pepsi Man”